Like Cementaur, I was up at 4:50 AM, but rather than contemplating the wonderful gifts God has bestowed upon me, I was pissed-off that I was awake. Tossing and turning, I heard my cell phone receive three text messages...but deeming nothing to be more important than beating my sleep cycle back in-line...I dove back into a deep slumber.
6:45 AM. Younger Brother from Karachi calls, "Benazir, shot, dead and burned...you sound sleepy, talk to you later."
First thought: Three kids. What will they do? Stupid woman. Why did she come to Pakistan knowing she’d be killed?
Second thought: Karachi is Fucked!
I am banging on the bathroom door and telling my husband about it in some unintelligible combination of street Urdu and English and he says: "r u shocked?"
Random thought: When Dad had a stroke almost a month ago, people who did not know him, including the doctors, were not shocked. You know, old age, diabetes, hypertension. Statistically speaking, it all makes sense. But it still is a shock. Same way, BB's death is a shock despite the threats, her near death experience earlier and her family legacy. So, yes I am in shock.
CNN/BBC/MSNBC can't stop the coverage but then I switched to GEO and heard Asif Zardari's crumbling voice over the line. I saw people in the streets, yelling into their cell phones, grabbing sticks and breaking cars, hysterically crying holding each other, tires, buses burned and chaos in innumerable cities, Karachi being the worst.
Flashback: 1980's Karachi. Bomb blasts in Defense & Clifton. This is close to home, too close. Horribly close to where family and friends live. Usually things never really reach the upper class residential area, but BB lives/d there. Karachi is the capital of Sindh and Clifton/Defence is not so far from the main Larakana, Liyari area.
Important thought: Start Calling!!!
Ramifications: Three cousins at their friend's house, unable to reach home after work. Traffic jam. 80 cars burned. 40 of them at Sumbarine Chowk/Punjab Colony. Aunt in apt bldg right across, street, lights turned off and open shooting there (killing two as of 9 a.m.). And at Balawal house, BBQ tonight and Shariah Faisal. People are scared, angry and sad. First cousin's engagement party cancelled. Friend's 80 year father (a cancer patient) cannot be transported across Gizri for an MRI/biopsy – awaits death as my city burns for the Daughter of the East.
Flashback: August 2005, driving in a un-air-conditioned car in Sukkur with friend after traveling to Moen Jo Daro with a Sindhi driver/guide. "Baji, Hazrat bhutto kay mazaar chalo, har dua Qubool hogi.” So, we visited Garhi Khuda Baksh. I felt like I was in Ajmer. The love and the fervor was so strong, I almost kneeled at his grave.
Return to GEO: Amidst the tear-filled cries of Altaf Hussain and jabbering of Bush, I learned that BB was in the armored car wearing a bullet proof vest and then got out thru the sun roof. Stupidity, bravery, or the inability to sit still while others chant for you? I don't know.
Aftermath: Can't stop reading, looking at pictures and talking on the phone.
To me this is larger than if Musharraf gets assassinated. This is a legacy of martyrdom that only fuels the fervor of her followers in Pakistan. Bilawal, Fatima, Bakhtiyar… all will have the same fate.
I am not a PPP supporter and don't think her democracy was the right answer. However Mushiji is on the wrong track and there seems to be less and less out there that can offend him. But then there is the Taliban's reaction to her meeting Karzai that must have really gotten the fanatics all messed up in addition to her alliance with the West. But at this point, politics seem less important than what is really at stake, which is the blow to the love and devotion residing in the people of Sindh. I only hope they keep it controlled when Zardari travels to Bilawal house with his three kids and her body (deemed Shaheed first time on GEO by Mr. Altaf Hussain) and then to Garhi Khuda Baksh. May all blessings be upon those who may come in the line of fire.
- Maheen